Bored
by Lady of the Witty Remarks
Summary: Sherlock is bored. So he decides to text John in the hopes John will help distract him from his boredom.


**(A/N) Hey. For those of you who read my Harry Potter fanfic… I'm working on it. Sort of. My muse decided to take a vacation, and instead of bringing me back plot ideas for The Next Gen, he brought back the King of Snark and the Man in the Jumper. So terribly sorry.**

**Anyway, I was bored today, as I was attending my 8-year-old sister's softball practice. Dull. I had a friend, but she was not being very vocal. I got bored. So I texted one of my Sherlock-obsessed friends, hoping she could amuse me for a while. I did not expect it to end up as a conversation between John and Sherlock, but it did. So I thought I'd post it here for all my lovely little readers. Cheers!**

March 15th, 5:40 pm

Bored. Entertain me.

SH

5:48 pm

Isn't there a gun laying around the flat?

JW

5:49 pm

Lying. And unfortunately, I'm stuck out somewhere. Without my gun. Hindsight 20/20.

SH

5:50 pm

I'm on a date with Sarah. Can't you call a cabbie?

JW

5:51 pm

Cabbies. Cabbies are dull. Unless they're serial killers. And you killed mine.

SH

5:52 pm

Well you were in a life threatening situation. And don't tell me you had it under control, I know you didn't.

JW

5:53 pm

I most certainly did! And you killed him before I could find out for certain if I was right! Then the confiscated my pill.

SH

5:56 pm

Of course they confiscated it! It was poison, Sherlock! You can't expect Lestrade to make every possible exception for you, he'd get sacked!

JW

5:58 pm

Insignificant. And it wasn't poison. Not the one I chose.

SH

5:58 pm

How can you be sure, Sherlock? You're not always right about everything, you know.

JW

5:59 pm

I was right that time. Child's play, really

SH

6:00 pm

Oh, I'm Sherlock Holmes, and I can do anything I please because I'm a genius sociopath. Good Lord, Sherlock.

JW

6:03 pm

Precisely, John. I always knew you were slightly more intelligent than the average idiot.

SH

6:04 pm

Oh, don't pretend to compliment me, Sherlock. I don't appreciate your condescending comments.

JW

6:05 pm

And I don't appreciate being forced to work with Anderson. Sadly, there are some things in life we cannot avoid.

SH

6:06 pm

Like jumping off of buildings?

JW

6:08 pm

I was under the impression you had forgiven me for that. I took the punch and everything!

SH

6:08 pm

Besides, it really was unavoidable. Unless you'd rather have died?

SH

6:09 pm

I hate when you do this, Sherlock. Outsnark me and still be right. It's completely unfair.

JW

6:12 pm

If you expect life to be fair, you obviously haven't been living long enough.

SH

6:12 pm

Sherlock… I'm older than you.

JW

6:13 pm

Being alive and living are quite different things. … Trust me, I'd know.

SH

6:34 pm

Johnnnn!

SH

6:35 pm

I told you I'm on a date, you can't keep butting in. If cabbies are boring, call Lestrade, or Molly. Or Anderson!

JW

6:37 pm

Lestrade's buggering his wife (idiot, she's sleeping with a janitor. I just told him so on Tuesday, too), Molly would get the wrong impression and be annoying, and NO.

SH

6:38 pm

Donovan?

JW

6:39 pm

Most likely with Anderson, but still not going to happen either way. As you very well know.

SH

6:40 pm

Fine. Give me 20 minutes. Just got back to the flat.

JW

6:41 pm

Thank you.

SH

6:42 pm

Uh… Sherlock?

JW

6:43 pm

What do you want, John?

SH

6:43 pm

Since when has there been a human skin hanging like drapery in our flat?

JW

6:44 pm

… Since two?

SH

6:45 pm

May I ask why?

JW

6:46 pm

It's an experiment! (And if you didn't guess that, you're dimmer than I thought)

SH

6:47 pm

What experiment could you possibly be performing with the skin of… a Russian woman? Am I correct?

JW

6:49 pm

Estonian

SH

6:57 pm

John?

SH

7:05 pm

Johnnn?

SH

7:10 pm

… You aren't coming to get me, are you?

SH

7:11 pm

Nope.

JW

(**A/N) So there you are. Our beautiful text conversation (except she actually stopped texting me after "Estonian," (she tends to abandon me in the middle of a conversation a lot). I hope you enjoyed it. It was actually rather helpful with my writing – the whole "getting into the mindset of the character" thing. I spent a few minutes trying to come up with a good reply sometimes.**

** Anyway, thanks for reading!**

** If convenient, review. If inconvenient, review anyway. Could be dangerous.**


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